Letting Go of the Past

I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders after I posted the blog that I just recently wrote titled “Break Every Chains.” It was something that I have wanted to share for quite some time. Not only because I knew there would be people who could relate to it and it could help, but it was therapeutic for me to stand in my own truth. In order to stand in my own truth, I have to talk about situations that involve other people because they are/were attached to my life. In doing that, I received some backlash from some people. There were a lot of missing parts to the stories that were not included in the last blog because I didn’t want to dwell heavily on the story because the sole purpose of the blog was to highlight how my life got off track from the moment I decided to start having sex and that generational curses are real. I used pieces of my story to show that. The blog was Not to place blame on anyone or slander anyone. I have forgiven myself for the part that I played in the decisions that I made and I have forgiven others. The same way I want God to forgive me for my wrong doings, is the same way that I have to forgive people who have wronged me. So all is forgiven.

After writing my last blog,
some people from my past wanted to keep reminding me of the things that I’ve done in my past and I heard quite a few things that were lies. For a moment I started feeling a little defeated. I went through a long process to become the man I am today so it was hard having to hear my past thrown in my face and so many lies said about me. Then God reminded that “He blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers (Matthew 5:11). Then He reminded me that he has no recollection of my past because when I decided to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and turn my life over to Him, he erased all of that. Micah 7:19 says that He will have compassion upon us, he will subdue our iniquities under foot; and thou wilt cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. I received a lot of emails and Facebook messages from people who felt like God was angry with them for things they have done in their past and some felt that they couldn’t get over their past. So I decided to write this blog to encourage those who are feeling this way. We should not be walking around carrying the gilt from our past. I’ve heard a few people from my past saying that they know the “Real Me.” If you haven’t been a part of my life since 2011, then you do not know the real me. You know the old Shawn….but you don’t know the real Shawn. When I gave my life to Christ, I gave birth to the real me and who God created me to be. When you get saved for real (as my wife would say) you become a new person. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here. This scripture further confirms that when you receive salvation the old man dies. We are not bound by our pasts…we are new beings in Christ Jesus. So I was an alcoholic, an adulterer, I sold drugs, I would use every curse word there is….I was a mess! Today I don’t do any of those things but if it weren’t for Jesus I would still be a mess. Things that I used to view as important, I could care less about. I grew up in a middle class family so we always had nice cars and nice things. I found value in those things. I used to be very materialistic and I would do whatever I needed to do to hold on to material things even if it was illegal. After having all of my worldly possessions stripped from me, I found that everything that I ever needed was in Jesus. I now desire whatever God’s will is for me. If God told me to leave our home and everything that we have and move to Africa to do missions work, then I will gladly do it. My identity and focus is no longer in worldly possessions! Those things are temporal! I’m focused on eternity.

As Christians we have to make sure that we are not only not letting the our past keep us in bondage but we have to make sure that we are not keeping other people in bondage to their past. As a mature Christian, it doesn’t bother me when other Christians hold my past over me because I know who I am in Christ Jesus. But what about the babes in Christ who don’t have the confidence to know that they don’t have to wallow in sorrow because of their past. I think so many times we don’t offer people the grace that God has given us. So if you feel like your past in unforgivable, I’m telling you that there is nothing that you could do that could make God love you less. He loves you and he wants you to lay your past at his feet and cast your cares upon him. Ask the Lord for forgiveness, then ask others for forgiveness, and then forgive yourself. And if the person has not forgiven you, you still forgive yourself and walk in freedom. We should only be concerned about pleasing God and him only. I’m so thankful for where God has brought me from. At 44 years of age I feel like I’m experiencing life for the first time. Everything that I ever wanted and didn’t know was attainable I have. I grew up watching my parents and always wanted a loving marriage like theirs. I now have that. I didn’t have to compromise my relationship with God to get it. I was just diligently seeking Christ and I found Jennifer. She’s a godly woman who has been a godsend to not only me but my family. I am a living witness that it is never too late for God to turn your life around if you submit it to Him. 

God Bless You

- Shawn Spears