Break Every Chain

This is the most personal blog that I have ever written. In an effort to be as transparent as possible, my hopes are that it will inspire others to free themselves from carrying secrets that are hindering them and bringing harm to others. When I came out of the bondage that I was in for many years, I began taking a closer look at generational curses. Exodus 34:7 says, “maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation." Lamentations 5:7 says, our ancestors sinned, but they have died--and we are suffering the punishment they deserved. Numbers 14:18 says, The LORD is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation. Deuteronomy 5:9 says, You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me. If we took a census of 3 generations of an alcoholic’s family, the number of family members who are alcoholics would likely be high because alcoholism was deposited in the family’s bloodline and an unfortunate number of children and grandchildren received it. It became a lot harder to sin and participate in foolish behavior when I understood that my sin and my foolishness doesn’t only affect me, but it affects my children and their children’s children. If we go back to Genesis,
the whole human race fell because of Adam and Eve’s sin. I want to share with you a personal story to shed light on how sexual immortality and generational curses can ruin not only your life, but the life of others.

I come from an amazing family. I grew up with both my father and mother in the home and they have a healthy and loving marriage. In January they will celebrate 50 years of marriage. Although I grew up in a healthy environment, I was always curious of the world and what it had to offer even though I knew it was bad for me. When I was 16 years old, at a high school football game, I met a girl and we started talking on the phone and eventually it led to us having sex. At that age I didn’t know much about sex and I didn’t know what the Word of God said about sex. All I knew was that it felt great and it was what my flesh wanted. The actions that I took that day changed the course of my life. For a few moments of pleasure, I opened myself up to years of hurt, soul ties, curses, strongholds, alcoholism, and eventually prison. A couple months later I found out the girl was pregnant and I was the father. When she had the baby, me along with my parents helped to take care of the child physically and financially. 2 years later, we received a letter in the mail about child support. We were very surprised because we were taking care of the child financially. God works in mysterious ways because he used this situation to expose what was hidden. We knew nothing about child support and family court so my parents arranged for me to speak with their lawyer. The lawyer advised me to request a blood test to prolong the case. I did what he asked of me to buy some time in getting a court date set. Not even thinking that this child couldn’t be mine, I completed the blood test and it came back that I was not the father. I was devastated and so were my parents. This child had been in our lives for 2 years. My entire life shifted because I had to lay down with this woman. My life got so far off track. I was drinking, I would skip school and had to get a job to support a child that I didn’t know was not mine. Not to mention, this child was born into a lie and she has a last name (my last name) that doesn’t belong to her and not knowing who her biological father is. This is why God asks us to flee from sexual immorality for no other sin clearly affects you the body as much as this, for whoever sins sexually sins against his own body (1 Corinthians 6:18). 

Six years later I met a woman who eventually became my wife of 14 years. When I met her she had two children and we ended up having a daughter and a son. In May 2011, I went to prison and what I thought was the worst thing to ever happen to me, it turned out being the best thing that ever happened to me. I blogged about this HERE. My ex-wife divorced me while I was in prison, I found Christ, and completely turned my life around while in prison. After my prison sentence, I moved to Atlanta and shortly after I met my wife Jennifer. Last November we found out that she was pregnant and in February at our monthly ultrasound appointment we found out that Cree was a girl. I already had 3 daughters and one son and my son was actually living with us when we found out the sex of the baby. Just like I said in the beginning of the blog, God will expose things that are hidden. After leaving the doctor’s appointment I thought wow I have all girls except for my son. I felt in my spirit that something wasn’t right. The Holy Spirit led me to look up my ex-wife’s old boyfriend on Facebook. When I saw his profile picture, I could not believe that my son looked identical to him. I still didn’t want to believe it so I decided to do a DNA test. I had already planned on drug testing my son after finding out that he was smoking marijuana so without him knowing I got him to swab his mouth to get the DNA so I could have it tested. I didn’t want my son to know about the DNA test because I still couldn’t and didn’t want to believe that he was not my biological son and I didn’t know how to feel about all of this so I didn’t want to involve him until I had proof and got the full story. When the results came back I could not believe that after raising him for almost 16 years, that I was not his biological father. I kept staring at the test that showed 0% chance of paternity in disbelief. Now I have to figure out how I’m going to handle all of this. I prayed to God and he had me confront my ex-wife with the DNA test and she admitted the truth. I told her that at some point in the near future we needed to let my son know the truth. I did not want to keep this secret hidden so we could all continue to live a lie. God exposed it not for it to remain hidden. There are some people who don’t understand why he needed to know. I was not going to have the blood on my hands for continuing with the lie and I knew that it wasn’t fair to my son to not know about his biological family. Even though I said the near future, she decided to tell my son the same night that I confronted her that I was not his biological father. 

I have had two women in my life lie to me about the paternity of children that I thought were biologically mine. I have also talked to several men that have been told they were the father of children that were not theirs. Even my ex-wife found out when she was 24 years old that she didn’t have the same father as her siblings….this is a generational curse that repeated itself with her son. It is sad that we have children walking around with mistaken identity and not knowing who they are, what sicknesses they carry, what’s in their bloodline…..because they don’t know who their biological parents and family are. We all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory but it is our responsibility to turn away from sin. My son took his life a little over a month ago and shortly after his death I spoke with his biological father and he told me that he battled with depression and suicidal thoughts when he was younger. This possibly could have been prevented if the truth was told from the beginning and my son received the help that he needed because his biological father would have seen the signs since he himself experienced suicidal thoughts.

I pray that you see how sex outside of marriage opens the door for so much turmoil and devastation to exist in your life and that you also see how generational curses can continue to affect your bloodline if you don’t expose it and bind it. My life of turmoil started when I was 16 years old and decided to have sex and it resulted into so many bad decisions because I never turned away from that sin until I went to prison. I am so thankful that we are not doomed to live a defeated life or live with generational curses. The Cross is enough to set us free from every yoke. Once you accept Jesus, no longer will the sins of your forefathers cause curses to transfer into your life. Jeremiah 31:29-30 says, "The people will no longer quote this proverb: 'The parents have eaten sour grapes, but their children's mouths pucker at the taste. All people will die for their own sins--those who eat the sour grapes will be the ones whose mouths will pucker.” So if you want to be free from generational curses you must first accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Then you must repent of your sins and repentance not only means to confess your sins but it means you should turn away from sin and not pursue it. Your salvation and living a life that is holy and acceptable unto God will break strongholds off your bloodline and will affect generations to come in such a powerful and impactful way.

God Bless You, 

-Shawn Spears