Tis The Season

So Christmas is a few days away, then there's New Year's and then Valentines Day. I remember there was a time when I was single that I would hate Nov-Feb because I felt like it was a constant reminder that I didn't have a relationship. This is also a time of year when a lot of marriage proposals happen so I would avoid Facebook because I didn't want to feel jealous of others happiness because at that time I was not happy being single. Real talk.....I hated being single
because I didn't like being by myself. The enemy knew this, so around this time of year an ex would call and I would entertain it because I felt lonely. I would try to convince myself that maybe God was bringing this ex back into my life because this was our second chance. Now mind you this would be the same man that God told me to remove from my life but around this time of year I would have amnesia and forget that this man was not good for me and I would forget about all of the reasons God released him from my life. The enemy loved to prey on my loneliness because he knew exactly how to distract me. I had to ask myself, why do you feel the need to entertain this ex? Why is it this time of year you need to have someone? Why don't you like being alone? God showed me that I was not lonely, because He was always with me. He showed me that I didn't want to be alone, because I didn't want to deal with my issues. He showed me that a relationship and a marriage was not going to fill that empty void. See there's nothing wrong with desiring marriage. God put that desire there. But you can't desire marriage more than you desire God....who is the creator of love and marriage. So that was my "have a seat moment" that God had with me during the 2011 holiday season. 

That next year, I had a great holiday being completely single. I did not feel lonely because I used that year to really spend time with God and establish a relationship with Him. I got to really know God intimately (you can read about that journey HERE). I had an amazing Christmas with my family. I received several phone calls from ex-boyfriend's, bae's, and boo's and ignored them all! I was finally at a place where I was content being single because I allowed myself to become whole and know God in a more intimate way. I no longer desired marriage more than I desired God which meant that I wanted a marriage that "God joined together" not one that I put together. Of course I also got asked from family members when am I getting married..."you're not getting any younger" "you better get started on having kids while you still have good eggs".......and I gave all of those questions and comments no life! I simply responded "when God presents my husband and after we are married we will have children when God opens my womb." I no longer let people put that pressure on me because I had no desire to please people....I wanted to please God and His will for my life. New Year's Eve, my sisterfriend Alicia and I got all dolled up and went to watch night service at church and afterwards we had dinner and discussed our vision for 2013. For Valentines Day, I made reservations for dinner with my girlfriends and we had a great dinner discussing all of the amazing things that was happening in our lives. See, you don't need a man and my Christian brothers you don't need a woman to enjoy the holidays or any day for that matter. When I became singe for real, I became content with doing things alone. I started going to the movies by myself and even ate at restaurants on a Saturday night by myself...sure did!

I believe God led me to write this blog because I know there are a lot of you out there who are not content in your season of singleness and I don't want you to make the foolish decisions that I made out of loneliness. Feeding your loneliness will result in heart ache, soul ties, and nothing that will help you get closer to the One that God has for you. Really use your singleness to get whole. You need to become whole before you can attract who God has for you. He's not going to send you his child for you to mess up. I didn't want to ruin another man's life with my mess. I also realized that messed up people attract other people who are a hot mess. If I didn't fall in love with Christ first and allow Him to complete me, I would have put unrealistic expectations on Shawn because I would have expected him as my husband to fill the gap that only God can fill. So use this single season so God can pour into your heart and lead you to the right person. A lot of you know God's voice and you know when you are being led by God so just rest in Him. If God can tell you that "this is the job he wants you take, "this is what He wants you to sow" surely he can tell you about your love life. Now if you don't know God's voice then you need to start learning what it sounds like when He speaks to you before you think about courtship or marriage. The wrong relationship can interrupt your destiny. The person that God has for you is connected to your purpose. God joins a man and woman together for purpose so please don't take matters into your own hands. Your destiny and purpose depends on it. Love you guys. I pray you have a Merry Christmas and celebrate Jesus' birthday in a mighty way because He is the reason for the season!

- Jennifer Spears