Marriage Is Not The Cure To Unhappiness

If you believe that getting married will cure your unhappiness and fix all of life's issues, you are sadly mistaken. I often see posts on my Facebook timeline that says "I can't wait to get married, I'm tired of being single," or "I can't wait until God blesses me with a husband so I can travel".......I saw that one yesterday and almost fell out. Where in the bible does it say that life starts once you get married? And not to discourage you, but what if God never sends a husband? I understand all to well how women can fantasize about being married and about our wedding day. We grew up reading about Cinderella and other Disney fairy tales and watching "happily ever after" type of movies but we must realize that is fiction and not the reality of what being married really is. If you are miserable and unhappy with life while being single, you will be that same miserable and unhappy person in your marriage. To be happy is to be content with the portion that God has given you. In Philippians 4:11-12, the Apostle Paul explains that he has learned to be content no matter what the circumstance is. Happiness is a choice.


People who believe that marriage will make them happy are likely more focused on the wedding and not the marriage. They are more focused on the happy feeling of putting on the white dress and being the center of attention and having the groom sweep you off your feet. But what happens after the wedding day? After you take off the dress and the glitz and glamour is gone and you realize that marriage is work. In fact, marriage really highlights your issues. I spent the last 2 years of my single life really working on myself, becoming whole, and living for Christ. I really thought that I "perfected" being single and that I would have no issues transitioning into being a wife.......wrong! Marriage highlighted that I can be very selfish, I like things my way, I can be manipulative, and I can hold grudges. So if my foundation (my relationship with God) wasn't strong and if I looked to my husband and our marriage to "make me happy," I would have quit after a few short weeks of marriage because my marriage showed me all the things that I needed to change about myself. Two becoming One is not easy and you face tests daily! So if you believe that marriage is all peaches and creme and you are looking for marriage to BRING you happiness, then you are not ready for marriage. Now don't get me wrong, marriage is AMAZING! I love my husband but I don't expect him to make me happy and I was whole before I met him. I didn't look for Shawn to BRING me happiness or COMPLETE me. I looked to Jesus to fill my voids and complete me. So when Shawn and I stood at that alter to say I do, we were two happy, complete and whole people coming together as One. We don't look to each other for happiness. I think way too many wives and husbands put unrealistic expectations on their spouse to make them happy. At the end of the day, my husband is human and he will make mistakes and as perfect as he is in my eyes he will disappoint me......he's man and so am I. My happiness and joy comes from God. So we have a "happy marriage" not because we don't argue (we do), not because we don't get on each other's nerves (we do), not because we don't hurt each other's feelings (it happens).....our marriage is happy because we choose to be happy with each other no matter what the circumstance is. So if you are single and you are not happy and you don't have any joy, I urge you to become whole. Ask yourself why aren't you happy....why aren't you content with the portion that God has given you. If you don't work on the issue and you get married, that issue will show up in your marriage and it will try to tear your marriage apart if you don't fix it.

- Jennifer Spears