My Journey to Motherhood

It's been so long since I've written anything on our bog. This is actually my first blog post this year. I've been trying to write this blog for 2 weeks now. Since this blog is about my journey to motherhood, I must confess that motherhood keeps me super busy. I have my schedule, Shawn's schedule and although Cree is only 8 months old, she has a schedule too. I've also started another business last November, Spears Accounting Solutions and I now have 8 small businesses that I work with as their virtual accountant. If you have any accounting, payroll, or bookkeeping needs, contact me (shameless plug :-))

When I was little girl, I often dreamed of being a mother as I cared for my dolls. My normal was a mother and father married and raising their children so when I would dream of being a mother, that is how I pictured it to be for me.

Letting Go of the Past

I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders after I posted the blog that I just recently wrote titled “Break Every Chains.” It was something that I have wanted to share for quite some time. Not only because I knew there would be people who could relate to it and it could help, but it was therapeutic for me to stand in my own truth. In order to stand in my own truth, I have to talk about situations that involve other people because they are/were attached to my life. In doing that, I received some backlash from some people. There were a lot of missing parts to the stories that were not included in the last blog because I didn’t want to dwell heavily on the story because the sole purpose of the blog was to highlight how my life got off track from the moment I decided to start having sex and that generational curses are real. I used pieces of my story to show that. The blog was Not to place blame on anyone or slander anyone. I have forgiven myself for the part that I played in the decisions that I made and I have forgiven others. The same way I want God to forgive me for my wrong doings, is the same way that I have to forgive people who have wronged me. So all is forgiven.

After writing my last blog,

Break Every Chain

This is the most personal blog that I have ever written. In an effort to be as transparent as possible, my hopes are that it will inspire others to free themselves from carrying secrets that are hindering them and bringing harm to others. When I came out of the bondage that I was in for many years, I began taking a closer look at generational curses. Exodus 34:7 says, “maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation." Lamentations 5:7 says, our ancestors sinned, but they have died--and we are suffering the punishment they deserved. Numbers 14:18 says, The LORD is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation. Deuteronomy 5:9 says, You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me. If we took a census of 3 generations of an alcoholic’s family, the number of family members who are alcoholics would likely be high because alcoholism was deposited in the family’s bloodline and an unfortunate number of children and grandchildren received it. It became a lot harder to sin and participate in foolish behavior when I understood that my sin and my foolishness doesn’t only affect me, but it affects my children and their children’s children. If we go back to Genesis,

The Journey of Birthing Cree

Shawn and I were married on July 20, 2014. A few months before we got married I found out at my annual OBGYN visit that the number of fibroid's in my uterus may have grown. I found out a few years ago that I had fibroids and it could cause fertility issues but likely I would be fine and shouldn't have any reason to get them surgically removed. In case you don't know, fibroids are muscular tumors that grow in the wall of the uterus (womb). Fibroids are more common as women age, especially during their 30s and 40s. African-American women

Marriage Is Not The Cure To Unhappiness

If you believe that getting married will cure your unhappiness and fix all of life's issues, you are sadly mistaken. I often see posts on my Facebook timeline that says "I can't wait to get married, I'm tired of being single," or "I can't wait until God blesses me with a husband so I can travel".......I saw that one yesterday and almost fell out. Where in the bible does it say that life starts once you get married? And not to discourage you, but what if God never sends a husband? I understand all to well how women can fantasize about being married and about our wedding day. We grew up reading about Cinderella and other Disney fairy tales and watching "happily ever after" type of movies but we must realize that is fiction and not the reality of what being married really is. If you are miserable and unhappy with life while being single, you will be that same miserable and unhappy person in your marriage. To be happy is to be content with the portion that God has given you. In Philippians 4:11-12, the Apostle Paul explains that he has learned to be content no matter what the circumstance is. Happiness is a choice.

Tis The Season

So Christmas is a few days away, then there's New Year's and then Valentines Day. I remember there was a time when I was single that I would hate Nov-Feb because I felt like it was a constant reminder that I didn't have a relationship. This is also a time of year when a lot of marriage proposals happen so I would avoid Facebook because I didn't want to feel jealous of others happiness because at that time I was not happy being single. Real talk.....I hated being single

A Heart to Give

In my 20's I was a complete mess! I would do any and everything under the sun. I worked at a new car dealership selling cars and I made a lot of money to be as young as I was. I blew through the money as fast as I earned it. I would have $5000 one day and $0 two days later. It's funny when you have money you have a lot of "friends" but when you are down and out they are nowhere to be found. I remember a lot of Sundays being so sick out of my mind from drinking so much over the weekend. On Sunday morning I would be broke and hungry. I could have gone to my parents but I was too ashamed. There was a woman named Ms. Evelyn who sold soul food plates from her home with her son and daughters. If you spent anytime in East Knoxville, you probably ate some of her cooking. Her food was awesome! Ms. Evelyn was an awesome Woman of God. I would end up at Ms. Evelyn's house when I was down and out and even though she cooked dinners to make money, she would always feed me. I never heard of her telling anyone of what she did for me and she never had anything harsh to say to me. I would always feel God's presence when I was at her house. 

The Holy Spirit reminded me of Ms. Evelyn and her giving heart the last few weeks.